vacation!

School Year 2005-2006 signing off. At last, the moment we've all been waiting for, summer vacation! Finally, no more grueling exams to dread for! And we finally get a rest from all the stresses we've been through for the past 10 months. And since yesterday was the last day of school, Mela, Miki and I went out and watched Ice Age 2. We were supposed to watch Nanny McPhee (Did I spell it correctly?) or if not, She's the Man but as expected, it's not even the next picture. It's just coming soon. WTH?! Sobrang late! Anyway, as for Ice Age 2, I liked it naman. Especially the part where the mammoth didn't know she was a mammoth and actually thought she was a possum. haha

So what am I going to do this summer? I don't think I'm going to have a college review. I think I'll just review at home and I hope that will be enough to pass college entrance tests (kahit DLSU Taft lang. hehe). God, I can't find a place to review in. Then, I'll continue my piano lessons and hopefully, have some sports activity. Karmin, Mela and Mina told me they wanted to have badminton this summer and I hope it would push through. Seriously, I need to move my muscles. Oh yeah, I want to have a summer job. I need to have money this summer. Who knows of one?

elections

We had our elections yesterday and as I expected, I lost. But I didn't feel bitter about it. I guess it helped that I prayed and asked God to make me not feel bitter if I lose since I know that whoever wins the presidency will take good care of the High School body. I know we were all capable of handling the position. Oh yeah, My 2 PRO's won! Here are the next set of SC officers.

President:Kay Abalos
Vice President: Lauren Lopez
Secretary: Mina V.
Treasurer: Mina R.
Internal PRO: Shiela Magnaye
External PRO: VIanne Mendoza

Congratulations to all of you! And to those brave souls (na pwede nang bumuo ng Justice League sa sobrang tapang. ), like me, we didn't lose. 'Dun pa lang sa lakas ng loob natin, panalo na tayo. Naks! Deep! haha

anonymous

I've been seeing anonymous these past 2 weeks. And you know how happy I am? Everyday, I've been smiling so big. Grabe! I'm so happy talaga! I can't wait to see him again. Oh yeah, my goal this summer is to get to know him. If I can.

its over

Tests are over. On the other hand, I don't think I should be happy since I think that out of the 13 tests I took, I failed around 5 of them. Geometry was BLOODY HARD. I took it for 2 and a half hours. I got a stiff neck and a migrane and still, I have a gut feel that I'm going to fail. WTH?! ELA was also hard. I heard 3/4 of the class failed. Am I a candidate? I wasn't able to answer the 20 point question in TLE. (Puro hula lang at pag tumama lahat, pwede na ko pumalit kay Madam Auring. hehe Computer was also hard and so was Social. Everything was hard. haha

so wonderful

My life has just been so wonderful these past few days. I don't know, it seems like everyone doesn't seem to understand me. No, not everyone. Maybe those people whom I thought would be the very people who would just won't. The others whom I'm not close to are now the ones whom I can talk to more. I don't know. What did I do to piss them off? They don't even know the answer themsleves. I know that sometimes there are things which people do that not knowingly, they irritate other people. Maybe that's what I did or am doing. Ako rin naman eh, may mga bagay sa ibang tao na ginagawa nila na kinaiinis ko. But I don't take it personaly. Why? Because I know it's just my own perception of them. Sabi nga, I can't please everyone. I might do things which can please other people but not please them or the other way around. But it's just who I am. I'm not doing anything wrong and I know that for a fact. Oh and one more thing, if you didn't like me putting here in my blog the chat I had with her, I'm sorry. Sabi ko nga, my blog is my only outlet of what I feel. Pasensya na talaga.

Shout out: If I've hurt, irritated or annoyed anyone in any way, I'm sorry. Rest assured that I never intended to do so. I don't even know what I did which made you feel that way. And thanks to Jalvin. Sobrang thank you! You're the one I've been talking to these past few days. Sorry kung naaabala kita.

i'm running

Yes, I am. Ang kapal ng mukha ko. haha But I really want this. For some reason, I like what I'm doing. This election would be different from the rest I went through. Ito, kusang loob. Hindi pilit. Gusto ko. Do I want to win? I would be a hypocrite if i say no. But I am not expecting that I would win. I don't want to expect anything. If I lose, then this thing is just not for me. In whichever way, I don't think I would lose at all. I had the guts to run and do what I want and for me, I've already won.

b*itch, the second time around

And I congratulate myself for having been called a bitch the second time. Oh yeah, look how contradicting her words are. Especially when she told me how everyone hates me but at the end, she takes it back.

her:bitch
tellmeimcute_03: thanks..takes one to get to know one
tellmeimcute_03: :)
her: ur very much welcome
tellmeimcute_03: sure..no prob
her: u need to change
tellmeimcute_03: look whos talking
her: what the fuck are u talking about?
her: at least not half of my classmates dont fucking hate me
her: did u fucking know half of our batch hate you and think the same as me?
her: u stupid whore
tellmeimcute_03: and u think u have breeding..man..i dont think people who talk trash are worth my time
tellmeimcute_03: im not bringing down my level down to yours
her: ur level is 10 times lower than mine
tellmeimcute_03: sure, if thats what u think...know what?
her: i know i did lots of bad things. but not to hurt other people i just hurt myself by doing fucked up shit
tellmeimcute_03: ur making urself lower and lower...if ur mad at me..because of what happened..its not my fault
tellmeimcute_03: its yours
her: only jealous people talk behind other peoples backs who practically dont know them
her: what do u mean because of what happened?
tellmeimcute_03: because u got kicked out
tellmeimcute_03: im not jealous..i have nothing to be jeslous of
tellmeimcute_03: *jealous
her: i just want u to know whats behind ur ass
tellmeimcute_03: and what do you think is behind yours?
her: at least people like me! ive never done nything bad to other people
tellmeimcute_03: are u sure that people like you?
her: well not all people.. u cant please every1
tellmeimcute_03: and so cant i
her: and why did u call me abitch?
tellmeimcute_03: coz u act like one
tellmeimcute_03: and havent i told u
tellmeimcute_03: it takes one to get to know one
tellmeimcute_03: know what..i pity u
tellmeimcute_03: i pity ur parents
tellmeimcute_03: i pity ur frends
tellmeimcute_03: i pity those who trust you
tellmeimcute_03: im not mad at you..yes, annoyed, pissed off..but not mad
tellmeimcute_03: i pity u more than i hate u
her: no i think u should pity u more
her: for being so fucking judgemental
her: that half of the batch dislikes u
tellmeimcute_03: know what...i dont really care if half of the batch hates me
tellmeimcute_03: im doing what im doing
tellmeimcute_03: coz i know its right
tellmeimcute_03: i dont care whether u like me or not
her: im just saying bitch
tellmeimcute_03: i dont care about anyone..as long as i know that its right
tellmeimcute_03: im gona do what im supposed to do
her: its right? really? to make people's self esteem to go lower? to judge people? for having a 10 foot stick up ur ass?
her: think again
tellmeimcute_03: nope..what i did..ung nagsumbong ako
tellmeimcute_03: un ang tama
her: do u know how much people dislike u and how much u've hurt them
tellmeimcute_03: alam ko ur mad of me because of that
tellmeimcute_03: know what? i dont know whom ive hurt
her: well
her: that too
her:AND
tellmeimcute_03: and if ive hurt anyone...they didnt tel me
her: 1. for bitching behind my ass 2. hurting people
tellmeimcute_03: i dont know what i did to hurt them
tellmeimcute_03: dont u think uve hurt ur frends?
tellmeimcute_03: because of what u did?
tellmeimcute_03: they trusted you
her: they ddnt tel me because they dont have the guts to! they just let it pass but they feel bad u know! tangina ayeen
tellmeimcute_03: same 2 u
her: they trusted me! but i said sorry anyway! for hurting them! not like you u stupid fuck!
tellmeimcute_03: give me reasons why they hate me
tellmeimcute_03: then ill believe u
tellmeimcute_03: ill ask them if they hate me
tellmeimcute_03: and if they do
tellmeimcute_03: ill tell u
tellmeimcute_03: first hand
her: u dont have to report to me i dont give a fuck
tellmeimcute_03: then i dont too
her: hmm.. wait, they dont hate u but im sure they have bad point of views about u
tellmeimcute_03: know what...everyone does have a bad point
tellmeimcute_03: i do and i know that
tellmeimcute_03: i accept that
tellmeimcute_03: i pity u talaga..going this low..hurting ur parents
tellmeimcute_03: ur frends...
her: u should change!
her: fuck u bitch u dont know ANYTHING about me u dont have the right to say this shit to me!
tellmeimcute_03: what did you do in ur life?
tellmeimcute_03: ur wasting it
tellmeimcute_03: maraming may gusto ng buhay na meron ka
tellmeimcute_03: sinasayang mo
tellmeimcute_03: kung tinutuwid mo yang buhay mo kesa gumawa ng kagaguhan
tellmeimcute_03: mas ipagmamalaki ka ng mga tao sa tabi mo
her: at least im happy! im content! i have lots of friends! my friends love me! i have true friends! my parents are disapointed but they still love me!
tellmeimcute_03: yes they do..they ALL LOVE YOU
her: i can get a better life in a blink of an eye if i wanted to
tellmeimcute_03: pero ano ginaganti mo?
her: what do u mean? tangina were not talking about me
her: were talking about you u fucking shit
tellmeimcute_03: i dont doubt what they feel about you
tellmeimcute_03: they love u...pero ikaw
tellmeimcute_03: nasaksaktan mo sila
tellmeimcute_03: dhil sa mga ginagawa mo
tellmeimcute_03: is that what you give after receiving love?
her: no, but when people respect u and u fucking judge people for who they are do u think wat ur doing ayeen is just?
her: at least people dont dislike me
tellmeimcute_03: we have our own point of views about people..
her: ok since ur doubting who do u know doesnt like me??
tellmeimcute_03: i can dislike and like other people depending on how i see them
tellmeimcute_03: i can name them but i dont want to
her: what do u mean?? thats so judgemental! u should get to know the person firrst!
her: see u dont know any1
tellmeimcute_03: and do you?
tellmeimcute_03: do u know each and evryone?
tellmeimcute_03: kht sa class?
tellmeimcute_03: dont tell me u never said anything bad about anyone
tellmeimcute_03: ur a liar if u do..
tellmeimcute_03: i know uve judged me too..do u know me? no you dont
her: well i sed bad things about you coz i heard u called me a bitch fucker
tellmeimcute_03:see? gantihan lang din pala
tellmeimcute_03: look at the mirror
her: i know my sources are accurate because they're close to you!
tellmeimcute_03: di lang ako may problema dito..
her: no u fucking look at the mirror
tellmeimcute_03: mas may problema ka
tellmeimcute_03: ayusin mo buhay mo
tellmeimcute_03: nakaka awa ka
her: tangina dont make this fucking personal
her: ima beat ur fucking scrawny little body if u do
her: dont talk about me u dont fucking know anything about me!
tellmeimcute_03: then dont talk about me if u dont know about me
her: im just fucking pissed of of u because u hurt my friends before and because u called me shit u werent supposed to
her: respeto lang sakn!
tellmeimcute_03: then dont make it personal din
tellmeimcute_03: wat ur telling me
her: what do u mean? EXACTLY!
tellmeimcute_03: is also what u should tell to urself
her: i dont fucking care
tellmeimcute_03: then..i dont care too
her: coz i felt really good anyway after calling u that
her: bitch
her: it gave me piece of mind
tellmeimcute_03: u know what...i dont care how many times u call me a bitch
tellmeimcute_03: i know im not a bitch..for heavens sake
tellmeimcute_03: kilala ko srili ko...sbhin man nating galit skn mga tao..tulad ng cnbi mo
tellmeimcute_03: kung 22o man un...they were shocked when they heard that
tellmeimcute_03: they even asked me why u called me that
her: i dont fucking care that u dont care that im calling u a bitch
her: i just want to
her: its a free country naman db?
her: idiot!
tellmeimcute_03: ur contradicting ur own words
tellmeimcute_03: ur mad at me kasi nagsumbong ako
tellmeimcute_03: un lang un
tellmeimcute_03:alam ko
her: NO
tellmeimcute_03: then why are u mad at me?
her: i dont fucking care that u blieve me
tellmeimcute_03: anong ginawa ko sayo?
her: im mad at you because u called me a bitch
tellmeimcute_03: ang labo ng buhay mo
tellmeimcute_03: man
tellmeimcute_03: that was ages ago
tellmeimcute_03: pareho na tayo
tellmeimcute_03: u called me a bitch
her: and the first time i went to school u called me names rin
tellmeimcute_03: ilang beses na ba?
tellmeimcute_03: want me to count?
tellmeimcute_03: lamang ka pa nga skin eh
tellmeimcute_03: dehado na ko
her: right on
her: u should change
her: thats the last thing im going to say
her: u should change urself.
tellmeimcute_03: i wouldnt change 4 u trisha
tellmeimcute_03: baka ikaw
her: dont change for me
her: but change to make urself better so u wont hurt others!
tellmeimcute_03: tell me nga
tellmeimcute_03: pano ko ba sila sinaktan?
tellmeimcute_03: sige nga
her: what the fuck r u talking aobut? i am changing TANGA
tellmeimcute_03: sbhin mo sken
tellmeimcute_03: u are?
tellmeimcute_03: talaga?
tellmeimcute_03: eh ano to ngayon?
tellmeimcute_03: u just called me tanga
her: RIGHT NOW
her: so fucking what? does calling u tanga invlove smoking?
her: IDIOT!
tellmeimcute_03: does changing mean na smoking lang?
tellmeimcute_03: idiot ka rin
tellmeimcute_03: di mo pala alam ibig sbhin ng change eh
tellmeimcute_03: change..from the inside...
tellmeimcute_03: ewan ko sayo...bsta maayos ang buhay ko..di tulad ng sayo

*NOTE: some parts were removed since the conversation was too long and there were names said.

oh, what a wonderful day!

--not. Geom long test, Chem long test, CLE long test, Art quiz, Elective business plan, Health scrapbook, clearance sigining -the things which we had and which we had to pass and complete. I've been so disoriented today because of these things. I went to school without even reading my notes for any of the long tests or quizzes, without a business plan and without having been able to finish the scrapbook. Good thing that the Geom long test was cancelled and Sir Joel said we could pass our business plans until Wednesday. Talk about luck. And if I'm lucky enough, I might pass my CLE and Chem Long tests. Oh, and my clearance isn't complete yet. Darn! It's her fault! This day si so unforgettable. As Mikee said, "mas unforgettable pa 'to sa quince." And I agree.

bat naman ganun?!

Bakit?! Bakit?!?! I didn't know deciphering things would be so hard. But what I didn't know was that when you've deciphered a thing, you would be shocked. Well, at least I was. I actually just took notice of it now, courtesy of Mj. I didn't know. Syet, bakit ba ganito ang buhay?

Mahiwaga
Join the Club

Mahiwaga ka daw balang araw
Akin ng matatanaw iyong mga galaw
Sinubukang lumayo sa iyo
Ngunit 'di natuto
Biglang may bumulong

Ikaw ba 'yon
Hanggang ngayon
Ako'y mayroon pa ring
Pagtingin
Sisihin sabihing
Ako'y sinungaling

Lumalala na kaya bawat araw
Lagi ng natulala 'di ka na matagpuan
Mahiwaga ka nga! Balang araw
Akin ng matatanaw iyong mga galaw

EWAN. EWAN. EWAN. EWAN. EWAN. EWAN. EWAN. EWAN. EWAN.

yeah right

Someone called me a bitch awhile ago. She told me, "Since it's my last day in school, I have to tell you, you're a bitch." Wow, how pathetic can she get? I was caught off guard when she said that so I wasn't able to say anything but "okay" and forced a smile and a laugh. Yes, stupid. I should have answered her back. God, I've been practicing all these years what to say when someone calls me a bitch and when the time came, I wasn't able to day it. Darn! Okay, for you who called me bitch awhile ago, this is what I have to say: Thanks for calling me a bitch. It takes one to get to know one, did you know that? And if you're scared that someone (like me) will get your crown of being the queen of bitches, then fear not. I have no intention to follow your footsteps. Got that?

Bakit ba kasi may mga taong sadyang walang magawa sa buhay kundi gumawa ng kalokohan? At kapag naman naparusahan, magagalit sa taong tumutuwid ng kanilang kamalian? I know right now she doesn't understand. I know how bitter it was for her but I know that what I did was also for the best. I know right now she has anger, or maybe even hatred for me but I also know that someday, when she knows better, she'll thank me. Alam ko hindi pa ngayon at kung darating man ang panahon na ma-rerealize niya na para rin sa kapakanan niya 'yung mga bagay na ginawa ko, mabuti para sa kanya. Hindi ko hihintaying magpasalamat siya sakin. Ang gusto ko lang, isang araw, matauhan siya at malaman niya kung gaano kahalaga ang buhay. Sinasayang niya kasi 'yung kanya. Ang dami-dami niyang dpat ipagpasalamat sa mga magulang niya at pati na rin sa Diyos. Pero anong ginagawa niya? Gumagawa siya ng ikasisira ng buhay niya. Marami ang naghahangad sa kung anong meron siya ngayon pero siya, sinasayang niya. Ewan ko ba kung bakit may mga taong ganito. Baluktot ang pamumuhay. tsk tsk

getting to know my entries

Why do I like blogging? Simple, because I like writing. I like sharing my thoughts and feeling to the world. I find comfort and relief in releasing what's inside me. But why do I speak in riddles? Sometimes, there are things or emotions which I need to get out of my system but also which I don't want anyone to know the facts about it. I write in riddles because it's what I can think of. I compare things in my life. Which of my entries are in riddles? The one about the fire is a riddle; the one about the sand and the shells is a riddle; the one a bout the food is a riddle. There are lots of things here in my blog which are connected to each other, you only have to find out what they mean. (But I doubt that you would) Trust me, if you will be able to find out and interpret their meanings, you would find the answers to your questions about me. I know people (friends and classmates) who have been asking me a lot of things which they think I don't answer but I do. I answer them indirectly here. If you would be able to uncover my riddle compositions, you would know another part of me.

all i ask of you

No more talk
of darkness,
Forget these
wide-eyed fears.
I'm here,
nothing can harm you -
my words will
warm and calm you.

Let me be
your freedom,
let daylight
dry -your tears.
I'm here,
with you, beside you,
to guard you
and to guide you

Say you love me
every
waking moment,
turn my head
with talk of summertime

Say you need me
with you,
now and always
promise me that all
you say is true -
that's all I ask
of you

Let me be
your shelter,
let me
be your light.
You're safe:
No-one will find you
your fears are

All I want
is freedom,
a world with
no more night
and you
always beside me
to hold me
and to hide me

Then say you'll share with
me one
love, one lifetime
Iet me lead you
from your solitude

Say you need me
with you
here, beside you
anywhere you go,
let me go too -
Christine,
that's all I ask
of you

Say you'll share with
me one
love, one lifetime
say the word
and I will follow you

share each day with
me, each
night, each morning
Say you love me

You know I do

Love me -
that's all I ask
of you

Anywhere you go
let me go too
Love me -
that's all I ask
of you

sm addict

Well, not really. But these past 3 days (Friday, Saturday and Sunday) I've been going to SM. Last Friday, I went with Mau, Judith, Jalvin, Joy and Miki (oo, umepal nanaman ako. ganyan na kakapal ang mukha ko ngayon. We celebrated Joy's birthday which is actually today. Yesterday, I was with Karina, Kristine, Igie, Andrei and eventually, Mela. I was so thankful that Mela came. Savior talaga. (Basta, kasi medyo na bad trip ako that's why I was quiet yesterday. Reason? Ayoko na sabihin) Awhile ago, I was with Karel, Karmin, Mela, Carlene and Camille. We watched Cloe to You! Ang baduy ko. haha But I don't care. I think the movie was good. It's for those who want to watch a romantic comedy with a bit of drama. I was inspired. Inspired to follow Japoy around. haha Bea's character followed Lance (Sam's character) from Manila to Dumaguete to Davao to Negros to Bohol and to Singapore. And to think that Japoy is just in Taft. Yeah, whatever.

Happy Birthday Joy!

tama si bob ong

Bakit nga ba kailangan ng Math? Bababa ba ang bill ko sa Internet pag nag-factor ako ng quadratic trinomial? Malulutas ba ng Laws of Exponents ang problema natin sa basura? Mababawasan ba ng Associative Law for Multiplication ang mga krimen sa bansa? Makakabuti ba sa mag-asawa kung malalaman nila ang sum and difference of two cubes? Maganda ba sa sirkulasyon ng dugo ang parallelogram, plynomial at cotangent? Makatwiran bang pakisamahan ang mga irrational numbers? Anak ng scientific calculator! (ABNKKBSPL Ako?-Bob Ong)

Sa totoo lang, ayoko talaga ng Math. I hide when I see numbers. They eat me.

.....

Sorry of my entry last night was sabog. Ewan ko ba, magulo lang talaga ang utak ko ngayon. Meron pang mga bagay bagay na hindi ko maintindihan. Siguro nga meron pa ring mga bagay na hanggang ngayon ay di ko pa nalilinaw sa sarili ko. Kung kailan ko man maintindihan lahat, bahala na si Lord. Anyway, I was so happy last night. haha Guess why?

.....

Bakit ba ang labo ng buhay? Ewan ko. Hindi ko maintindihan. MALABO, hindi talaga malinaw. May mga bagay-bagay na akala mo totoo pero hindi naman pala; akala mo pwede na pero hindi sumasang-ayon ang pagkakataon. Parang pagkain. Gutom ka kaya gusto mo kumain. Maraming naka handa pero isa lang ang talagang gusto mo. Nagkataon namang marami kayong gutom at may batang gusto ang pagkaing nais mong kainin. Malamang ibibigay mo sa bata. At malamang din lang, sumasakit na ang sikmura mo sa gutom lalo pa't nawala ang gusto mong kainin. Kaya hayun at kinain mo na lang kung ano ang natitira pang pagkain kahit ang gusto mo naman talaga ay 'yung isa. Kinabukasan, ganun ulit. Gutom ka ulit at gusto mong kumain. Pagkita mo, hayun at naka handa na nanaman ang isa pa sa paborito mo, ngunit hindi tulad nung sa kahapon. Isusubo mo na sana nang mayroong ulit isang batang gutom rin na gustong kainin ang gusto mong pagkain. Malamang ibibigay mo ulit. Ewan. Malabo pero malinaw.

quinceanera

We had our quince las Saturday. Well, it was okay. It was kind of lame for me and it wasn't really one of the best nights of my life although the night was well, important. I don't know why but for some reason my night, or what was supposed to be my night, didn't really become that spectacular or that majestic as I thought it would be. Maybe it was also partly my fault because I didn't have the guts to ask the guy I liked to dance with me. Anyway, I also think that our quince practices were of no use since most of us forgot the steps anyway. The music skipped and we looked stupid not knowing what to do. At least we made our parents smile that way. The food was good though. The free dancing part was not okay. The escorts (well, most of them) were too shy to go to the dance floor. There was this show down between girls and boys but I think only about 5 boys had the guts to really strut their stuff. I actually admired them for that. Actually, I think that the escorts found it hard to dance with the parents around. Oh, and that night, everyone said I looked like a doll. Over all, for me, it was okay. Not having been able to dance with the guy I liked nor have a picture with him or of him and only having him smile and say a few words which doesn't even seem understandble even makes my rating of good too high. Do you get what I mean? If only I could turn back time. Anyway, good for those who found the quince very enjoyable and fun.

ang apoy

Bakit nga ba ang apoy, habang maliit palang, inaapula na? Dahil ba kapag lumaki ito at nagliyab, mas mahirap patayin at mas nakaka paso? Mahirap nga namang patayin ang apoy na nagliliyab na. Ngunit kailan mo nga ba malalaman kung ang maliit na apoy ay dapat nang apulahin? Paano kung ang apoy na ito pala ang magbibigay init sa iyong pagkalamig? Paano kung ang apoy na ito ang bubuhay sa iyo? Ngunit paano rin kung ang apoy na ito ang papaso sa iyo? Ang unti-unting papatay sa iyo? Ano nga ba ang dapat gawin sa apoy na ito? Dapat na bang apulahin habang maliit pa lamang o dapat ko munang hayaan na lumago ito hanggang sa lumiyab? Naranasan ko ng pumatay ng nagliliyab na apoy. Mahirap. Ngayon, ano ang dapat kong gawin?