..•i tried to deny it but the feeling just kept on shining through•..

that's a line from mymp's constantly.saw it from mina's site.nice lyrics they have there.=).ill post the whole song at the end of this entry.^_^.hmm, i watched Maynila (okay, sige na, baduy na kung baduy.hehe) awhile ago since i saw its trailer and found that they would have a good story today.oh yes they did.and their topic?!.just being true with one's feelings.not denying what he/she really feels.^_^.nice one.i was struck with what Mayor Atienza said about this.it's like, there's no point denying what your heart really feels.which means, if you love someone, face it.you cant stop your heart from falling in love, right?!.kaya sa mga in denial dian *ehem ehem*.haha.labo.^_^.anyway, ive also been watching lifestyle network for how many days now.ive been really interested about the food they cook.looks really really yummy!!.haha.^_^.oh yeah, i had a chat with kay last night.we have our new favorite word :LABO!!.hehe.labo talaga!!>>gosh! i cant stop!!.hihi.^_^.and yes, we were talking about..JAPOY!!.^_^.sino pa ba?!.asa nanaman ako.harhar.but it's okay.i was planning to study in La Salle Taft para ill get to see him.kaso i found out na when i start college, graduate na siya.=(.awwww.but i have another plan.harhar.i'll take a test in taft and ill hope to see him!.do i sound so desperate?!.because, i myself, thinks i sound desperate.^_^.i mean, with all the connections i have, walang nangyayari!!.awwwww.maybe someday.here i go again, asa.asa.asa.hehe.i just wish to meet him.^_^.okay, enough na.hehe.here's constantly by mymp.

♥ Constantly ♥
• MYMP •

I knew it was there
Though I tried to hide it
But The feeling just kept on shining through
Haven’t known you that long
So I tried to deny it
But the feeling was much too
Much too strong

Could this be love?
Deep down inside
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

Constantly, you’re on my mind
Thinking about you all the time
I can’t sleep no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking ‘bout you

Why do I feel this way?
When I know you have someone
That you’re seeing each and everyday
Should I play this game
Of just being your friend?
When I know that’s not where I want it to end

How could this be wrong?
When the feeling’s so strong
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

Constantly, you’re on my mind
Thinking about you all the time
I can’t sleep no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking ‘bout you

Now I don’t want to start no trouble
Between you and I and your lover
But I must tell you what I’m going through
Every time you walk by I see love in your eyes

Your on my mind
Keep on thinking about your loving
I cant sleep
I just keep on thinking ‘bout you

Constantly, you’re on my mind
Thinking about you all the time
I can’t sleep no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking ‘bout you

..•••one week na net card ko!!yay!!^.^ •••..

yay tlga!!.cause i had to make my nt card last for one week.whoosh!.^_^.i had a deal kasi with my parents.i have to make my net cards last for at least one week or they wont let me use the net EVER again.so happy!!.i did it!!.yay for that!!.^_^.kala nila i cant do it.i proved them wrong!!.anyway, enough of that.i was watching news kanina and i guess i just realized something.i saw the news about dun sa rally or something on may 1 and about this group who wants GMA to step out of position.=/.i realized that what this country really needs is UNITY and DETERMINATION.it seems that whoever the president is, they want him/her to go down and another to take over.and if it happens, after a year or so, they would want another president.heck, dont they ever get tired of this cycle?!.i mean, what would this country achieve without unity?!.sure the government means a lot.good governance is really needed.but, if us people wouldnt do anything and rely it all on the government, nothing would also happen.the place we live in does not determine what we can do and does not hinder us from succeeding.so i guess it really is unfair that we all blame it on the president.after all, she's a person too.she's no god who, in just a snap, would make every person rich.in reality, we need to act.take for example these beggars who have really big bodies.they can do more than just begging.for goodness sake, they should make use of what they have.=/.a really good example of someone who made it from rags to riches is gokongwei.the owner of jollibee.i learned that jollibee started out only as something like a carinderia.but look at jollibee now.even made it internationally.if only each and everyone would have the same persistence and determination.when will people learn?!.tsk tsk.i dont know why im thinking about these things.or why im writing these here.i guess ijust want to share my views.for now, all i can say is..God bless this country.

..•••weird people..tsk tsk•••..

gosh.people are becoming so weird.it started with patcha.i was just asking if her if confusion really is the first step of falling in love then she asked me..."kayo na?!".i was like, huh?!.so sinakyan ko.i told her..."oo!!!kami na!!...ni japoy!".but she was not talking about japoy.she was talking about nardo.=0.WTF?!.hello?!.sinakyan ko ulet.hihi.i told her kami na.since the 26th.sheesh!!.i didnt know asking a simple question would lead into this conversation.=/.then my mom went next.i was laughing kasi when she was talking about this guy who has a crush on her(yuck.kadiri.feeling teen ulet.hihi.).then she told me..."yang mga ngiti mo.sus if i know! in love ka din eh?!.kanino?!.kay ano noh?!".argh.WTF?!.parang, in love kanino?!?!?!.waaaa!!.i wont smile or laugh EVER again in front of her.=/.why give meaning to my smile?!.and not to mention in my eyes?!.there's something daw in my eye.WTF?!.then i told karel about what my mom told me.know what she said?!."totoo naman eh!".with a lot of smiley faces.oh gosh, can you believe it?!.they are actually telling me these things?!.uh, as far as i know, im NOT in love.=/.theyre confusing me.=/.i take that back.to think confusion is the first step of falling in love?!.err.=/.ah basta!!.im not in love.period.anyway, ive been seeing manny pacquiao in a lot od commercials lately.even on surf.what does his boxing have to do with soaps?!.socks would be a good endorsement.but with soaps?!.sabong panlaba?!?!?!.gosh.haha.weird.anyway, maybe its because he cleans his boxing shorts with surf.=/.weird.haha.okay, i get the ad.about having a clean job.but, ah basta!!.i find it weird lang having pacquiao on that ad.=/.hihi.=)

..my love is..

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	mysterious
Your hugs are...	gentle
Your eyes...	sparkle like the stars
Your touch is...	irresistable
Your smell is...	exotic
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	everlasting
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	warm
Your eyes...	twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...	the only thing I desire
Your smell is...	refreshing
Your smile is...	hypnotising
Your love is...	eternal
Quiz created with MemeGen!

..•••i try to fool myself to think ill be alright •••..

i didnt blog last night for the simple reason that i was too lazy to do so.harhar.=).and yeah, something went wrong with the server too.and i got so pissed off that i decided to stop surfing the net.which sounds a really good idea if you ask me.i mean, before i could even release my anger on my pc,i think what i did was better.=).hmm..okay, yesterday we watched Can this be love.oh gosh, how much more baduy can i get?!.imagine me watching hero-sandara?!.but there's really nothing wrong with it.hihi.=).although dont even find them cute together.they dont even have chemistry(for me.opinion lang po.)=).okay, i take back what i said awhile ago.they do look cute together.although they dont have chemistry.but, it was another feel-good movie.cute one.it made me laugh a lot.=).my mom even got pretty shocked with the fact that sandara can actually act.she improved a lot.although she can improve more.=).anyway, i guess that's it for yesterday.i mean, i cant remember more things which happened eh.=).hehe.
♥BALISONG♥

Rivermaya


Your face lights up the sky on the highway
Someday you'll share your world with me someday
You mesmerize me with diamond eyes
I try to fool myself to think I'll be alright
But I am losing all control-
My mind, my heart, my body and my soul

Never in my life have I been more sure
So come on up to me and close the door
Nobody's made me feel this way before
You're everything I wanted and more

To speak or not to where to begin
Your great dilemmas I'm finding myself in
For all I know you only see me as a friend
I try to tell myself wake up fool this fairy tale's got to end

Never in my life have I been more sure
So come on up to me and close the door
Nobody's made me feel this way before
You're everything I wanted (more)

You're everything I wanted

..•••confusion is the first stage of falling in love!•••..

is it?!.yeah, i think it is.=).anyway, my mom and i watched the pacifier today.nice film.=).action-comedy.vin diesel's really good!.and he's handsome too!.=).haha.so there.uh, know what?!.iane's helping me with japoy!.he's going to try to get his number from the mom of casper.the one who directed his ad.haha.okay, im starting to get hyper again.=).but i told him its okay if he doesnt get it.=).but if he does, and he gives it to me, its as if i have the guts to text him naman.haha.maybe it will just be in my phone for display.hihi.=).its so hot today.very very hot.ive been perspiring here inside the house doing nothing.i swear im losing a lot of calories and fats even by doing nothing.i feel so sticky even after taking a bath.i think soaking myself in cold water would be a nice idea.too bad i cant do that.i might get sick or something.=/.but its really hot!!!!.i bet the ozone layer became thinner.because of all the pollution.seriously, people should know the right things to do if we would still want to live in this planet for a longer time.with all the pollution going on, people would eventually die because of skin cancer or heat stroke or other things.and it's man's own fault.=/.i really think people should learn to care about nature.when will people learn?!.other are just so hard-headed.=/.i guess they will only see things clearly when mother nature gets back on them.but until that time, people will continue doing things that will harm nature.and in the end, it is us who will suffer.am i sounding like an environmentalist?!.haha.maybe im just concerned with our surroundings.=).we need to take care of it rather than destroying it.=)

..♥♥♥*i think im in love with japoy! haha*♥♥♥..

omg!!!.i saw him awhile ago in HOME BOY.okay, baduy ko ba for watching that?!.haha.i dont care.i watched it because japoy was there.=).their topic was about being crush ng bayan.oh my!!.ibig sabihin dami ko na tlga kaagaw sa japoy KO!.haha.labo.angkinin daw ba?!.hihi.anyway, grabeh!!.and i saw him kiss that girl who has a crush on him!.=0.waaaa!!.LUCKY LUCKY GIRL!!.i wish i was her!!.imagine being kissed by japoy?!.if i was her, i think im going to faint.=0.i ♥LOVE♥ japoy!!.haha.=).why is he so handsome?!.i love his eyes!!.gosh!!.i love everything about him!!.oh my, i think im already sounding insane.=0.i am going insane.weird me.i go weird whenever i see japoy.japoy japoy japoy japoy japoy japoy.i cant seem to stop.oh no!!.im going gaga over him.=).i cant help it!!.haha.i would do anything to see him!.haha.asa.asa.asa.=).but who knows?!.it might really happen!.=)

..im in a bad mood..

this wont take long.im such in a bad mood today.im so pissed off.today seemed a good day.until it happened.ayoko na.=(.

..♥♥♥can this be love im feeling right now?!(haha!)♥♥♥..

weird title.haha.its my LSS.why of all songs?!.sheesh!.never mind.let it stay in my brain.hehe.okay, i was being a couch potato again.i watched the amazing race marathon.6 hours ata un!.no wonder my eyes are stressed out.i really dont like rob and amber!.argh!.theyre just so mayabang!.anyway, ive also been making telebabad with karel for these past few days.tsk tsk.now, my ears are also strained.=).hehe.uhh, im not used to talking too much on the phone.but now, im actually getting used to it!.=0.karel and i have been talking about.ehem.stuffs.=).my goodness!.karel has been telling me about her premonitions and things like that.she's been interpreting things about...yun na un!.haha.=).*VERY FANI!*.nyahaha.got that from patcha.though she says pani instead of fani.hihi.i can remember our talk about serendipity.haha.i dont think i would still want to believe in that.=).maybe except if japoy and i would meet through it!.=).oh and speaking of japoy, i have 1 more connection with him!.yay!!.=).the friend of my friend is japoy's friend.in simple ways of speaking, nardo's friend is japoy's friend too!.haha.=).kainis nga lang cause nardo doesnt want me introduced to his friend!.argh.na-excite pa naman ako!!.tsk!.and know what he said?!."wak ka na! matunaw ka sa inggit!".wtf?!?!?!.does he really intend to get me excited about these things then suddenly turn me down?!.kainis!!.at least i know im THIS CLOSE from getting to know japoy.err, maybe that's not too close.but at least, that's not too far either!!.=)

..•••untitled?!•••..

i cant think of any title for today.=).hehe.okay, so i went to the dentist today.my schedule was moved.she tightened my braces.good thing im already used to it that it doesnt hurt anymore.=).hmm, i watched this show on AXN.the most outrageous love.is that right?!.basta something like that.uhh, they have the weirdest weddings!.i swear!.one couple had their wedding on top of an airplane and one wedding took place on a bus!.haha.weird.very very weird.and there was this couple who got married but only knew each other about 10 minutes before they were wed.sheesh!.people will do anything for marriage.=/.weird people.haha.anyway, i wont blog long today.tinatamad ako.=).but ill share some pictures.=)


♥ these are my chucks!=) ♥



♥ this was the snake from tagaytay zoo.thats carlene holding the snake! ♥



♥ anton eating stick-o!haha ♥



♥ stolen pics ng sis ko!haha.she even got mad at me for taking these.hihi.=) ♥



♥ saving the best for last!nyahaha.its me!=). ♥

..♥Tayo'y sumayaw, na parang di na tayo bibitaw!♥..

here's prom by sugarfree.currently in ♥love♥ with this song!.=)

♥Prom♥
•Sugarfree•

nanginginig na mga kamay
♥puso kong di mapalagay
pwede ba kitang tabihan?♥
kahit na may iba ka nang kasama

ito na ang gabing di malilimutan
dahan-dahan tayong nagtinginan

parang ating ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
at tayo'y sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw
bibitaw

♥nalalasing sa iyong tingin
di malaman laman ang gagawi♥
habang lumalamim ang gabi
ay lumalapit ang ating mga labi

ito na ang gabing di malilimutan
tayo'y naglakad ng dahan-dahan

parang atin ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
at tayo'y sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw
bibitaw

♥matapos man ang sayaw
pangakong di ka bibitaw♥

parang atin ang gabi
parang atin ang gabi
parang atin ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
at tayo'y sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw

parang atin ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
♥at tayo'y sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw♥
di na tayo bibitaw

..♥♥♥*uhhhhh*♥♥♥..

another day.another BORING day.when will i have a day which will be more fun?!.sheesh!!.i was expecting to do more things this summer and here i am just watching tv and surfing the net!.argh.i want to do more things other than these.as i've said, ive been such a couch potato sulking in front of the tv today.and because of this i came accross The Amazing Race, American Idol and CSI:NY.In American Idol, Edward (is that right?!) got eliminated.not because he wasn't good enough, but because he has the least number of votes.awwww.just because of that?!.i dont think that's fair.=/.oh well.i guess to be an idol, you should also have charisma.maybe that's why.errr, =/.CSI:NY was also good.although I like CSI:Las Vegas more.=).hmmm, I had fun watching The Amazing Race though.they are still in India.i was laughing so hard when lynn and alex were going to do the elephant pushing thing and lynn said, "honey, i wanna ride on top too!".or something like that.haha.i swear he's so gay when he said that!.laugh trip!.hehe.and Joyce and Uchenna did the fast forward.joyce's head got shaved!!.=0.i thought she would never do that.but she did!.now, theyre in first place!.uhh, im so proud of meredith and gretchen!!.they didnt get eliminated!!.♥♥♥yay!!♥♥♥.lynn and alex did though.=/.anyway, i like meredith and gretchen!!.no matter what their age is, they keep on fighting.oh yeah!.as phil had put it, "the team that never quits!".and they are the oldest pair to have had reached that far in the race.=).ive seen how they fought and gave their all.=).rob and amber, however, well...other teams dont like them.i sort of dont like them too.=/.i mean, they are so manipultive and stuff.and if im not mistaken, amber already won in survivor.tama na yun!.hehe.ron and kelly, i cant say much about them.except that theyre ALWAYS fighting.they should lessen it.it doesnt do them good in the race.anyway, ive been practicing these: ♥♥♥.haha.*weirdo*.here's more: ♥♥♥.fogive me for being so ewan today.=).

..new pope!=)..

the church already has a new pope.Pope Benedict XVI.yay!!.we need to rejoice for that!.=).i hope he does well in leading us.i know he can do it.=).anyway, last night, i was pissed of.i needed to repeat this thing from the start.AGAIN!.oh for heaven's sake.just when i was already satisfied, because of my stupidity, i wasnt able to save my template.=/.argh.how can i be so stupid?!.i keep on repeating and repeating.=/.so i wasnt able to start full house last night.i only got to watch half of it because of this.nakakainis talaga!.hay, never mind.from now on, i would just keep on reminding myself not to be so stupid and careless.i guess that woul pretty much help.what have i been doing today and yesterday?!.well, ive been reading books.i finished The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom and Chinese Cinderella by Adeline Yen Mah .Really really good books!.Five people is about Mitch's perception of heaven.It shows hoe everyone is connected with one another.That each story of our lives are connected even in the smallest way.a lot of wise words are said here.=).Chinese Cinderella however, is a true story about an unwanted child, Adeline.It taught me to believe in myself no matter what other people say.Here's a quote i got from the book, "Though my parents tell me i'm worthless, i've proved them wrong! Of all the girls in my class, my classmates chose ME to be their class president. I must forget my home. In my other life-my real life-I'm not worthless. They respect me."These are really nice books!.If you haven't read any of these, try reading.=).It would let you see more about life and teach you more lessons.i learned a whole lot from these books.=).

..ill stop the world and melt with you..

i didnt really find out what actually happened with my template.it seemed like someone tampered with it.so my site was sira yesterday and i had to repeat all over again.DAMN IT!.i needed to go to blogskins and find my skin then go to photobucket, flooble and other sites.it was a waste of time, really.so again, i strained my eyes yesterday until today just to get this site fixed.i finished my 20-hour inernet card for this thing.oh gosh.can i get more pathetic?!.ive been going to different sites.getting this and that.my eyes are actually tired na.and have you noticed, my site became very STARRY.haha.its got lots of stars in it na.i just like stars too much.(NOT star the star the person).gulo!.basta not him.=).hehe.so much for fixing my site.but i guess im just too drawn into doing this thing that i cant help changing things and adding stuff.html is so addictive.its like drugs.haha.well, that is, for me.=).ive been addicted to it ever since we studied it in computer class.=).there.so i guess, i have sir noli to blame.=).haha.anyway, i have decided.yes, you heard (actually, read) that right.THE VERDICT:Go to US just for a vacation and go back here.i dont know if that would be the BEST decision that i made.only time will tell.but, whatever happens, i know i made this decision because i know that this is where "panatag ang loob ko".and i think this would be enough.i dont want to make a decision where i know i am not sure of and where my mind and heart will not be in comfort.for now, i know a lot would think that i did not make a wise choice.but, i know ill have no regrets.whatever happens, happens.and i will face it coz this is what i chose.as i have said, only time can tell.=).

..errrr, what is happening to blogger?!..

wtf?!.something's wrong with my template.i wonder why.kainis!!.my html codes are putol.pero my site is okay naman.weird.i was supposed to put a clock and a calendar pa naman.=(.waaa!!.what is wrong with it kaya?!.im so pissed off with it.hay, i hope it gets back to normal na.anyway, awhile ago, i checked the blogs ive posted here and i started in Feb 20 pala.=).weee!!.about 2 months na pala ko nagbblog here.=).haha.and i think my site has grown into something more interactive and fun.=).so there.oh yeah, i had a dream.i dreamt about JAPOY!!.wee!.haha.i wonder why i always dream of him?!.gosh!.i hope one of those dreams would actually come true someday.__*dreams come true*__.walang kontra!.hehe.hmm, ive been crushing on him for the past 2 years now (and still counting.=D).i think ill never get tired of him.=).patcha's got a shitzhu na nga pala.awww.hehe.i want one too.but now i want a chow-chow or a lhasa apso better.hihi.but its too costly.30k!=0.and i dont think my parents would ever want to spend that much money just for a dog.haha.but, whatever.=).maybe in the future when i already have my job, ill be able to buy those.haha.that would be far from now.=).and today's monday na pala.they need my decision on wednesday.around 35 hours to still think about it.=/.H-E-L-P!.

..weeeeee!!!..

Mahal ko si Rico! Mahal ko si Rico! Mahal ko si Rico!

grabeh!!!.the concert last night was a BLAST!.although it started later than 8 pm, it was so much fun!!.todo!!.juana (a new band) was the first to perform.theyre also good.they sang pansinin mo and the one which has lyrics ng *kelangan ko ng pera*.haha.then spongecola performed.yay!!.yael and armo is so gwapo!!.weeee!!*hyper*.haha.=).they sang CRAZY FOR YOU!.yael's voice is so ganda.nakaka in love!!.haha.=).they only sang mga 4 songs.sayang!!.hehe.then kitchie came next.she's really pretty in person!.she was only wearing a white blouse and a pair of jeans but she still looked good.=).then rivermaya performed na!!.rivermaya performed the longest.=).they played almost all of their hits!!.214!!.haha.when 214 played, all the people were screaming na.haha.=).i liked rivermaya's performance the best!!.rico blanco really really looks handsome pala in person!!.grabeh!!.i didnt expect him to look THAT GOOD!.sheesh!!.and the whole time they were playing, people were already standing up on top of the chairs (i did too!haha).especially when the sang awit ng kabataan, my gosh!, we were jumping up and down.haha.=).i think i even lost my voice because of screaming too much.=).but who cares?!.we had fun!!!.so much fun!!.and i LOVE rico blanco!!!!!.weeeee!!.<3.oh yeah, kitchie sang with rivermaya.sameground.hehe.they said rico and kitchie looks good together.haha.yeah, they do.=).they also sang Youll Be Safe Here.grbeh!!.nakaka in love din voice ni rico!!.hihi.their last song was Liwanag sa Dilim.Tapos, they took a picture of the crowd to be posted on their site www.rivermaya.net.i hope i was captured.haha.=).the concert ended by 12 am na.and i got home by 1.30 am.=).i even woke up awhile ago dizzily.i couldnt walk straight and my vision was turning around.haha.so much puyat.=).i hope may concert ulit rivermaya.=)

..excited!! weee!!=)..

im blogging now since i know i wont be able to blog later.=).yey! im so excited for the concert later!!.=).haha.cant wait to see rivermaya, kitchie and spongecola!!.weeee!!.=).haha.okay, enough of that.=).hmm, after crying the whole day yesterday, i suddenly got hyper (why kaya?!?!).weird isnt it?!.i still am thinking how i became hyper with just a snap.seems that my adrenalin suddenly became active and sugar came rushing through my blood.talk about weird.so there.anyway, i watched full house last night (sorry, baduy ako.haha).weeee!.justin admitted it na he likes jessie!!.haha.=).*kilig*.haha.now im getting hyper again.hehe.oh yeah, i found a new best friend.been there through good times and bad times, especially when im crying.its VISINE!.haha.=).it makes my eyes look good again after crying.haha.=).

..out of my emotions..

so out of my emotions, ive been writing poems.and i made one again.ive been crying for 3 hours now (and counting).my mom even saw me crying inside the bathroom.=(.hay, never in my life have i been so depressed.*salamat kay monique who im talking to right now*.
TORMENTED
Fearful and distressed,
this is what i have become
my soul, my heart,
suffering from aches
how could you,
who have enraptured me
now give me misery?
peace and solace
suddenly grew into hell and grief
you knew i was fragile
yet you crashed me
falling into reverie,
now i know,
i am your casualty.
anger, hatred, fury, wrath
these emotions taking over me
everytime i breathe
i cant--it hurts
everytime i go up,
you bring me down
is this what makes you happy?
sitting alone, solely
hearing raindrops falling, leaves rustling
tears from my eyes
keep falling down,
rolling down my cheeks..

..happy birthday to rach!!=).

*happy birthday rach!!!*.=).yihee 16 na siya!!.=).and your finally getting your driver's liscense, right?!.nice!.=).anyway,ive been straining my eyes on my pc today, fixing my blog.yeah, i did put some games and stuff to make my site more fun and interactive.=).awhile ago, we had our recognition and i got the math and science club award (more like the "most outstanding club member" thing for the math and science club).which seems really weird to me since i really dont like my club.haha ^.^.but yeah, ive been participating.it says "for showing active participation and enthusiasm in the activities....etc".=).and i also got my merit.=).weee!!.yeah boi!.=).but i know that merit wasnt my best.i became too lazy last school year.=/.maybe i could have gotten higher grades (or maybe even make it to third honor.^.^) if i just did study hard.=).maybe next year.if i still am here.which reminds me, i still have not decided whether to stay in US or go back here.it really bothers me a lot.its what's on my mind everytime.oh well, as i said, let GOD show me the right decision.=).so there.this day's practically busy.well, i think so.=).and because of what im going through right now, i was able to write a poem.=).here goes...
AFTER ALL
crying inside
hurt, bleeding
wounded heart
lost soul
confused, rattled
mistakes--
unforgotten, unforgiven
wandering mind
puzzled, asking
what have i done?
or rather,
what have YOU done?
agonizing pains
you have caused me
now im broken,
shattered
picking myself up again
making myself
whole, complete
but now you come back
and after all
what you did
here i am...again
my heart screaming,
help me, im falling!
uhmm, what do you think?.i know its not really connected with me or anything but...i dunno, these are my emotions right now.=)

..damn it..

and again, im lost.im confused.im sad.im pressured.lahat na ng emotions.it feels so heavy inside.so heavy.ive been crying since last night.alam mo ung feeling na ang hirap huminga?.ung masakit?.thats what i feel now.gusto kong iiyak lahat lahat.pero now, i have a bigger responsibilty.my decision would be the make or brake.it would either be good or bad.and I am the one who will decide.its either i would go to the states and NEVER come back.Read: Live there.or still live here, with my mom but it would really be hard.=/.the truth is, i really dont want to live there.but, they (my mom's side) wouldnt also want to leave us here with our dad.and i personally, would also go with my mom.but should i stay there for good or come back here?!.i dont know.would i be selfish?!.can i sacrifice that much for our future?!.i WANT to.but i dont know if i can do it.i would want to stay here in the philippines but, is it still right?!.would it be the best for us?!.these questions and a lot more are running through my mind.but whatever happens, i want GOD to help me.i want him to show me what would be best for us.

..more confusion, my mind's stressed..

im in a state of confusion.whom to choose?!.my mom or my dad?!.okay, i already chose my mom over my dad.BUT...well, ill be going with my mom to the US this summer and i have this fear that they wont let us come back here.which of course, would totally suck.=(. but my mom told us that we are coming back.we should.SHOULD.hay, i dont know how im supposed to feel about these things.=/.i dont know what im supposed to do.im lost and confused.nga pala, *thanx ulet kay nardo at karel!*.
yep, nagdrama nanaman ako.can i help it?!.i even felt like breaking down awhile ago!.sheesh!.i think my life story can already be featured in Maalaala Mo Kaya or Magpakailanman.
im not okay.NOT.so anyway, i think one thing to cheer me up is that i bought chucks awhile ago!.yey!.=).i was supposed to buy futsal shoes but bought chucks instead.=).
haha.i bargained for it.=).weee!.=).its pastel blue and yellow.uhmm, its like this: just that the outer one is blue and the inner one is yellow.=).its really cute!.=).oh yeah, and we already bought the tickets for rivermaya and kitchie's concert!.=).the 600 pesos were already sold out so we bought the 800 ones instead.its really near the stage.yey!!.=D.i guess these would somehow make me happy.=).even just a little.=).okay, karel texted me a quote and it's really nice.it goes.."Life aint easy i know.there are pains.pero, if ever youll fall because of hurt, dito lang ako ha?!.get some strength from me.weak din ako, pero kakayanin ko..para sayo.=)."thanks karel!.=).kaya mahal kita eh!.=).and here's another one my mom sent me.it came from tita cynthia."God will meet us where we are.he can be very tender to you if you need an embrace.he can be terribly awesome when you need a miracle.he can be painfully quiet when he wants you to trust him.he will be what you NEED him to be NOT what you WANT him to be.in your every need, BELIEVE THAT GOD KNOWS ABOUT IT MORE THAN YOU DO. so, let him meet you where you are and let him love you right there."

..pissed off..

yep, im totally pissed off.and i dont want the exact reason to be posted here.=/.sheesh!!.im just.....i dunno.=/.i need someone to talk to.i need to let this all out.i just might burst anytime.no, on second thought, i wont burst, i will EXPLODE.my day WAS good sana.actually, ive been happy and hyper awhile ago.until.....argh.*ang kapal ng mukha nia*.she has already done a lot of damage.what does she want?!.no matter how i want to forgive her, i just cant.not now.im confused.i dont know where to go and what to choose.i dont even know what i should do.=/.naiipit ako between two big rocks and i dont know if i should go to one rock or just run.=/.why are all these s**t happening?!.i hate it.=/.its just so hard.before, i cant even imagine myself being stuck in this kind of situation.but now, im actually IN it.im actually in this reality.and now it made me realize that no matter how much you love a person or how long youve been together, if he/she finds another, he/she can leave you just like that.with just one blink of your eye, wala na pala.all the things youve put together will just crumble and fall.i cant believe this.now you still expect me to believe in happy endings?!.well, maybe there are still.but i guess it RARELY happens.i guess.oh well, good thing ive never fallen in love.and i dont think i would still want to.or maybe, i still do but not now.i just want things to be fixed.which i think will be beyond impossible.but, im still hoping.=).think positive!(like i always do!)

PROM
Sugarfree

nanginginig na mga kamay
puso kong di mapalagay
pwede ba kitang tabihan?
kahit na may iba ka nang kasama

ito na ang gabing di malilimutan
dahan-dahan tayong nagtinginan

parang ating ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
at tayoy sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw
bibitaw

nalalasing sa iyong tingin
di malaman laman ang gagawin
habang lumalamim ang gabi
ay lumalapit ang ating mga labi

ito na ang gabing di malilimutan
tayo'y naglakad ng dahan-dahan

parang atin ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
at tayo'y sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw
bibitaw

matapos man ang sayaw
pangakong di ka bibitaw

parang atin ang gabi
parang atin ang gabi
parang atin ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
at tayo'y sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw

parang atin ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
at tayo'y sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw
di na tayo bibitaw

..happy happy joy joy!!!haha=)..

i wont make this entry long since nothing new happened today.well, except for one thing.one particular thing that suddenly made my day.=).uhmm, wanna guess?!.yeah, i saw gabby.haha.babaw!.=).do you even need to guess?!.hehe.im so predictable.=).i wasnt actually expexting him to be there.although, i was HOPING.=).its quite different.=).i know he doesnt go to church every sundays (what i know is he goes to church every saturdays).but he actually did today!!.=).haha.=).we were THIS.CLOSE.hehe.=).hmm, we (nardo and i) were talking about him (gabby) last night and yeah, i learned more things about him.well, not so really good things.=/.errr, never mind.hehe.=).still, i want to meet him again.and meeting again means knowing each other.=).its been a LONG LONG time since we last talked (which i dont even remember when and i dont even remember talking to him before, but i suppose we did talk.haha).so there.my only hope now is joseph.he promised me that hell get gabby's number for me.=).he just txted me now and apologized for having not able to get it yet but promised hell get it soon.we saw each other din kanina eh, that's why he probably remembered.=).i hope i get to get the number real soon.=)

..a lot of things to yay about!.hehe..

so i have finally started my summer job today!.=).yay!!.ive been too lazy these past few days thats why i didnt start as soon as school ended.but now, i can finally earn!!.yay for that!!.=).so i started at 9 am.i went to our store (bicycle store) and cashiered and did other things until 11.30.i went home (walking, since the walking distance from our house to our store is just about 2 mins.hehe.) to eat lunch then we went to pavi and paseo because we were looking for rubber shoes.but, i cant seem to find one.=(.so maybe ill just have to buy one on tuesday.then we went home na.at 3.30, i went back to the store and we were became busy.our dealer who delivers spare parts and bikes came so we had to sort the things, put price tags, and calculate stuff.and there were also a lot of people buying at that time so we really had to make them wait.hehe.good thing that they were patient enough.=).we closed at about 6 pm na.so ive been really busy.but its worth it, at least ill get paid!.haha.=).oh yeah, ill be going to the concert of rivermaya and kitchie.yay!!.=).i invited other friends but i dunno if theyre coming.i hope so.=).tickets are just mura.800 being the highest price.not bad.aside from kitchie and river, kjwan and sponge will be there too!.=).i guess it will be worth it naman.=).cant wait!!.=)

..uhmm ?!?!..

okay, i blogged yesterday, its just that when i clicked the publish thing, my pc hanged.=/.and i didnt want to repeat the whole typing process!!.argh.my blog yesterday was long pa naman.i had a lot of thank you's for my friends.=).i dunno, its just that with all the things happening now, im so thankful that i have them.=).i guess ill have to repeat it na lang.=).so here goes.

[Karel]
karel!!.=).weve been friends for quite a long time now.=).since first year.=).i know we have had fights and misunderstandings sometimes, pero i think thats just part of the friendship we have.=).huy, thanks for the patience (i know you have a short one so thanks for being patient with me.haha.=D).and for ALWAYS listening sa kadramahan na nangyayari sakin now.=).sorry for shocking you the other day.haha.=).heavy flow ba?!.haha.funny how we became THIS-CLOSE.=).pero im grateful na we really became closer last year and still becoming closer this year.=).and it all started with your love life.haha.=).blessing in disguise?!.=).thanks for being such a trust worthy friend.=).friend for keeps!!=).wav u!(oi, familiar ba to?!haha).=)

[Patcha, Carlene, Karmin and Mela]
pssst!.haha.huy, sorry kung these past few days i havent been very open to all of you.=).i dunno, i guess im not yet ready to tell the whole world whats happening.=/.what REALLY has been happening.weird noh?!.haha.dont worry, ill let you know when im ready na.pero you also have to be ready coz you also might get shocked like karel and nardo.haha.=).thanks nga pala for also ALWAYS being there.=).kahit di nio alam ung mga exact things na nangyayari sakin.hehe.=).chai and karmin!!thanks sa pagpaptawa!.for being so cheerful.=).nakakahawa!.haha.it also makes me smile.=).the best kayo!!=D.mela, salamat cause ikaw nagddrama for me.=).ikaw yung umiiyak for me.haha.=).carlene, thanks for being child-like!.nawawala problema ng kada.hehe.=).thanks sa prayers and everything.=).bsta if you need me, im just here!.=)alabshu din po!.=)

[Nardo]
nardo!!.haha.nice name!.=).naks!.may special mention siya!.=).hehe.kahit na wala tayong ginawa kundi mag-asaran, youve always listened to me pag nagddrama ako.=).hehe.kahit sa chat lang and wala kang reaction, ayos lang un.=).laking tulong na yung pakikinig mo.=).and quits lang ulet tayo kasi nagtitiyaga din ako makinig sayo noh!.haha.di, joke lang.=).pero who could have thought na we will also be close (at least i think we are).hehe.imagine, we used to fight a lot dati.take note, on senseless things pa un.haha.very immature.pero, we got over that.=).uhmm, sorry kung nagmumuka ka ng sama ng loob dahil ikaw labasan ko ng sama ng loob.hehe.=).bsta, thanks talaga!!.=).napaka galing mong upuan.;).at napaka galing kong foot scrub!.haha.=)

ayun, i know there are still a lot of people around me and im really thankful that i have them.=).i appreciate those times we share.=).hay, wala lang.i just realized that from what im going through right now, i have such GREAT friends!.=).anyway, i have not done anything today but eat!.=).haha.ive been munching on food kanina pa.haha.so much for trying to avoid eating.hehe.oh yeah, i just found out that we are going to spend 2 weeks in US this summer.=).hmm, its okay.=).2 weeks wont hurt.=D

..hyper mode!!haha ^.^..

i was so hyper kanina pa!!haha.=).and i dunno why!.how weird.=/.anyway, i just went home from carlene's bdei!.it was a blast!.=).we first ate at josephine's then went to the zoo and then to starbucks.=).

[josephines]

okay, i wasnt able to eat well.was it because ej, iane and je was there?!.or was i just really full?!.i dunno.whatever.hehe.=).i couldnt even look in front coz je was there.hehe.=).i dont know why but everytime i look at him, i want to laugh.haha.=D.nice.haha.so its either i look down on my plate or look at karel who keeps on telling me that she doesnt like the way i smile and look at her.haha.=).whatever.there were LOTS of food but i just ate sinigang and shrimp.i made papak the shrimp.yum!hehe.=)

[residence inn]

we went to the zoo after eating and we LOVED the snake too much!!.we had "bonding" with the snake.haha.=).i was able to touch it!.yey!.first time?!.yeah!.haha.everyone even carried it and took pics except for me and karmin.i dunno, i was not scared but..oh well, haha.=D.uhmm je(again, since he was the only one who was talking and makulet awhile ago.hehe) thought i was scared of it so he kept putting the snake's face in front of me.as in very close to my face.ha!.i wasnt scared!.=).i even held its head.=).so he asked me to carry it.but i didnt want to!.hehe.=).we also saw other animals (duh! zoo nga eh!haha*weirdo!*).ooh, and i had lots of posters daw!.the one with the monkey pic in it, they said it was me.hehehe.=D.*sorry, no pics muna.tamad pa ko maglagay.=).*

[starbucks]

we ate (again!) in starbucks afterwards.i we ordered frap and strawberry cake.yum!=).moccha frap for me and karel and caramel frap for carlene and karmin.=).i was only able to finish half of the frap.sayang!.oh yeah, it was ej and iane who carried our orders for us coz they are gentlemen daw.haha.=).the hell?!.anyway.=).

so there.we went home na after.=).it was fun!.sayang coz we were not complete eh.patcha didnt make it coz she was still sick and mela is in lumban na.so there.but, it was really really fun.especially the snake part!haha.=)